are you still at the devil's house?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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