Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you didnt know i had herpes?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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