She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
