I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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