Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
