Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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