when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
