So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
