i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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