theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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