Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
