She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
