i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
