she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
