Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
