Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i came on her dog
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
