Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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