porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
