Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
