yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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