I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
