Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
