Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
no you cant smoke seaweed
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize