I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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