sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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