Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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