I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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