Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
