hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
