I just made out with a guy for $7.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
