You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
