Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
