i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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