I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
