She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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