They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
