I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
