she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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