I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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