It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
