This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
