i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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