whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
