Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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