well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
