2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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