May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
