we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
