Whod you bang
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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