So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
