ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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