just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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