Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
