worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
