He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you would pick up someone in the library
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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