Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize