I think my vagina is haunted
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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