This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
where are my eyebrows?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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