So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
