Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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