'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
