Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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