Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.

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  (812): Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support. http://tfl.nu/gdfj
  Replies (1) Good night (1710) Bad night (758)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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  (514): i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/xhhe
  Replies (25) Good night (1000) Bad night (6238)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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  (814): 1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame? http://tfl.nu/zg21
  Replies (23) Good night (7575) Bad night (1111)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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  (208): Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately. http://tfl.nu/dsn6
  Replies (2) Good night (1660) Bad night (1158)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future

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  (908): Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future http://tfl.nu/p1r4
  Replies (5) Good night (2115) Bad night (881)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?

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  (865): Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale? http://tfl.nu/nfui
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (2087)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.

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  (817): I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut. http://tfl.nu/n51l
  Replies (14) Good night (2845) Bad night (1161)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.

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  (480): honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well. http://tfl.nu/eoih
  Replies (8) Good night (2357) Bad night (1324)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.

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  (+44): One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend. http://tfl.nu/kcdy
  Replies (12) Good night (2463) Bad night (587)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.

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  (502): I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can. http://tfl.nu/7z31
  Replies (4) Good night (1673) Bad night (873)
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  (949): View more from California

  Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.

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  (949): Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand. http://tfl.nu/6vlj
  Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (1085)
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  (769): View more from Mississippi

  He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking

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  (769): He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking http://tfl.nu/ylhe
  Replies (6) Good night (543) Bad night (1019)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (258)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.

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  (320): Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked. http://tfl.nu/11jv
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (226)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone

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  (860): grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone http://tfl.nu/vpvv
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (202)

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