he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
