Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
