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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.

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• (518): View more from New York

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!

  (315): View more from New York

  ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  there were more penises there than on chat roulette

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm

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• (914): View more from New York

  Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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• (371): View more from

  My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?

  (945): View more from

  dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  wtf why is there glitter all over my dog

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