hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.